Sabang Hotel (XX)

Both test results already came out, and I had to accept the fact that I had failed. Now here I am an unemployed person, hiks…. Practically I had nothing to do, thank God I have a lot of relatives that at least I could count on so I could still survive. I used the situation for visiting my old friends including to Novi’s house, you know the girl I used to have a crush on when I was still in elementary school. I paid a few visits to her house, one night at her house we’re having a chat at the verandah and her father also joined us, we talked about lots of things. Novi’s father asked me about what I was going to do with my future after failing from the test, he gave me some inputs and suggestions about taking short courses like short course on plumbing, I had no idea why on earth he suggested that kind of course, I just nodded, doing that at least he knew that I was listening to him even though that idea didn’t interest me at all.

I was thinking that taking courses about computer might not be a bad idea. So I started gathering information about computer courses. I went to some computer courses to get information regarding the packages and the course fee. What I was looking for was the very basic knowledge about computer such as introduction to computer, DOS system, Word Star, Lotus, D-base, etc. I believed so much that having knowledge in English and computer was very important to be able to compete in the work area. Saying that I had zero knowledge about computer but I felt my English was not very bad after all, well I would say it was considerably okayJ

Reading daily news paper in the morning suddenly became a habit, looking for information about courses as well as job vacancies. But as a high school graduate only wouldn’t give me enough opportunities for at least decent works. My aunt Ulfah’s husband whom I called uncle or om Kusnan was always saying to have other skills, so I wouldn’t be only a high school graduate but a high school graduate plus (SMA+), he was also saying that it was very important to pursue higher education, and added that it was not cheap. I visited My aunt Ulfhah Kusnan family quite frequently, and got my ID (KTP) there too proving that I was a legal citizen of Jl. Anngur Barat III/12 Jakarta Selatan.

I had an experience, there was a job vacancy I read from a news paper, it’s Sabang Hotel, it’s located on Sabang Street Central Jakarta, I didn’t remember the position required, it’s something like helper or assistant in and F&B Dept or Room Division. I was going there wearing sort of formal clothes bringing an application letter with me complete with my high school diploma put in a red folder.

“Good morning sir, I’d like see the personnel manager” I asked a security guard

“ What’s your business?” the security guard asked me back

“ I wanna give this application letter” I said

“Ok go that way on the second floor” replied the security

I went on walking to the direction the security guard told me, and took the steps upstairs to the second floor. The office where I was going to was not in the main hotel building. It’s in an annex building behind the main building. I knocked the door, and somebody opened the door for me.

“How can I help you? Asked the guy

Then I explained my intention to the guy, he then showed me to the person I was looking for, I was asked to be seated. We had some talks and short interview, which was my very first job interview in my entire life. The personnel staff asked me a few questions regarding the position applied, and I tried to give my best answers to every question given to me and was sure I was a bit nervous because I had no clue about the position I was applying, it’s just because my desperation as an unemployed person if I may say so, and I wanted to test myself if I had guts to apply for a job.

“We’re very sorry Arief, the position needs a person with at least two years experience with some degree too” explained the personnel staff to end the conversation.

I tried to smile and said thanks to him, and walked away. ”stupid me, what the hell am I doing daring to apply for a job without having qualifications and experience” blamed myself for doing that. I walked slowly towards the exit while thinking the embarrassment I just had and stupidity I just did.

“Hi man, you want to apply for a job? I can help you” a stranger approached me

“Yes why” I was wondering what this guy was trying to do to me

“Come with me” said the guy

I followed the guy but still wondering what this guy was up to

“I have an inside man who can help you to get the job, but it has to be trough me and we need to give him some money under my recommendation” the guy went on saying

It was like I was hypnotized and I just trusted the stranger that he could really help me to get the job. The word “recommendation” hmmm that’s a new word to me, I might have ever heard the word before but surely I didn’t really know what it’s supposed to mean. I was just guessing that it meant something good to me and I liked the word sounded any way, I really felt I was so naïf then. He asked me how much money I had in my pocket, of course I didn’t have much while showing to the guy all the money I had and proving him that I wasn’t lying and I agreed to give him Rp. 10,000.- and left me with some change for bus fare. I was thinking again and wondering whether this was the way people can get the job by having an inside man and bribing. He took me to the public telephone box and making a call to someone. He was talking to someone from end of line while taking my folder and trying to read my application letter, and mentioning my name and saying that under his recommendation to accept me. He hung up the phone and convinced me that I just wait for further notice, he also kept my folder with my application letter and certificate in it. The stranger left me and I was taking a bus going back home while thinking and hoping I would get a letter from Sabang Hotel informing my employment.

I told my uncle Risjar regarding what had just happened to me, he kept quiet and made me realized that I had just been deceived. That the first lesson I learnt that we don’t easily trust a stranger and we don’t bribe for work.

to be continued...

Welcome back to Jakarta (XIX)

That day I arrived in Jakarta, I went straight away to my uncle Risjar’s house in Rawamangun it’s not too far with the house where I spent my childhood in, here I am back to Jakarta I said to myself. I got a warm welcome from my uncle and aunt and cousins. God I can’t believe that I am in Jakarta again. I also managed to meet my old friends from elementary school and junior high school. I also visited my old neighbors and the owner of the house our family had rented from for about seven years. Nothing much changed though I could see the house I used to live was still like before only the paint had started to fade and not too well maintained. It was now lived by bunch of students, apparently the house was rented to university students from IKIP Ramamangun.

The days were passing by, I was still waiting for the university admission test (UMPTN) to come out, I would say that I wasn’t that excited of the test result, knowing that the possibility to be accepted was small because the majors and universities I selected were among the best and most favorites. So I was also thinking about a back up, but I didn’t really think going to private universities at all like many other people were thinking and aiming, because that option was not feasible for me. So instead I was taking a polytechnic test at University of Indonesia in Depok. My elementary school friend I Gede Surya Sempana and I were taking a train to the University of Indonesia campus complex to have the test. When we got there we registered and had a series of tests. Like usual I wasn’t much convinced that I would pass the test knowing that I wasn’t that successful when doing the tests, and also not to mention the very tough competition we had.

Finally the day I had been waiting for came, the UMPTN test result came out, it’s there in almost every national news papers, I hurried myself to buy and read Kompas daily news paper to see the result, there was a big announcement with the list of students who passed the test. I checked the paper thoroughly in every page, I couldn’t find my name there, I tried it again and again hoping that I missed it, but still I couldn’t find my name there. My name wasn’t there meaning that I didn’t pass, after all I knew that I wouldn’t pass though. There’s one opportunity left, that was the polytechnic test result, unlucky me, I also didn’t pass.

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Goodbye Mother (XVIII)

The exams were over and the results were already out, thanks to God that finally I graduated from high school. But the struggle wasn’t over yet, I still had to prepare my self for the university admission (UMPTN) I went to Padang to have the test, we were given up to three choices. My choices at that time were University of Indonesia majoring international relationship and University of Sriwijaya majoring English literature. Most of my high school friends of course chose University of Andalas as their first choice. There were techniques that we could have adopted in order to pass the admission test, that was by picking majors and universities that were not too so called wanted or that students were not too interested in, for instance by picking mathematics in University of Cendrawasih in Abepura Papua. My uncle Bahagia Rasyad has proved it by firstly picking University of Samratulangi in Manado, and studied for about a year or so then took another admission test, and finally passed again. At least doing that meaning that we can still pursue our target and still going to university until first or second year before getting that we want. But we also had to be prepared with the consequences such as losing some amount of money and starting again from first semester as well as leaving friends from that university and the good thing is we can keep our studentship there until graduating if we don’t get what we want as our choice.

The result of the test will only come out after one or two months, during those times the high school graduates would usually find other private universities or polytechnics as backups supposed they were not accepted from UMPTN, well we don’t lose a thing right. I was planning to hear the test result in Jakarta, if I pass then great I am already in Jakarta or if I am granted the second option then I will go to Palembang from Jakarta, that was on my mind even though I got no clue where I could get the money from, was just hoping that my relatives would hand in hand help me, but if I don’t pass then there would be no chance for me to go to private universities as it would surely cost a lot and I don’t think I would dare enough to ask for “sponsors” from my relatives for financing my study.

I told my mom regarding my plan, she couldn’t say a thing but fully support me even though deep in her heart she would cry because I would live far away from her, which had never happened before. The plan was made and the days of my departure were closer. I tried anything that might be able to remind me of my village (kampoeng). One night before I left there was a wedding celebration and a traditional band performed there, traditional songs were mostly played, there was a song that I listened to it’s a song called ”Teluk Bayur” Teluk Bayur isThe West Sumtra Port and the song was about saying goodbye to the land of Minang Kabau, I attentively listened to the song sung, without being felt my eyes turned red, they were filled with tears but I could still hold it so it did not wet my face, for sure until now every time I hear the song, my mind would definitely fly back to my village.

Finally the day where I had to leave my beloved mom and family arrived, my mom already served me breakfast with her last cook. I hugged and kissed every member of the family. This time I could no longer hold my tears, my face was bathed with tears, as long as I could remember this was the second time where I cried and sobbed, the first time was when my beloved great father passed away. Besides my beloved mom, my grandmother’s mother Iyak looked so sad and couldn’t stop crying, I hugged her a few times before I left, She had been physically handicapped for years, one of her legs was dead and could not function. We can’t imagine the effort she had to make to move just ten meters, but the love she gave to her children and her grand children and her grand children’s children was countless.

“be careful Arie, take a good care of yourself” She said to me.

“Yes Yak” I replied.

I could still remember what her face was like, and that the last face I ever saw, a few year later she passed away.

I walked down the house and headed a small bus which would take me to the bus terminal, the small bus was owned by one of our villagers and the house was not too far from mine. I didn’t expect that all of my neighbors were sad with my leaving, they all came to me and shaked my hand hugged me, some of them even slipped me some money, not much but I really appreciated it. I kept walking and still crying and crying and so were they. I got in the bus and still couldn’t stop crying , tears kept rolling down my face. This was the very first time my mom and I got separated. Good bye my beloved mom, goodbye my family, goodbye my friends, good bye my village Manganti, goodbye all.

to be continued...

Back to School (XVII)

The holiday season was over and I had to go back to school, by the time we’re entering second year, all the students were divided into three majors, physics (A1), biology (A2) and social (A3) classes. I was in biology class or A2. There I had some new classmates since some of them were from my classmates from the first grade. As usual I was always sitting in the back of the class, Oyong, Johny, Boim, Al were all sitting not far from me. We had a school band Oyong was the guitarist, Al was the Drummer, Boim was the vocalist and I was only a cheer member.

Often after school time we wouldn’t go home directly but we would stay at Oyong’s house for a couple of hours. We would usually sit in front of his house facing the street, the house was not far from the school so we would see every other students walking home from school. Oyong would hold his guitar while others would be busy thinking what other next songs to sing. I would contribute to sing some songs my self, I would pick party doll, always somewhere, soldier of fortune, etc.

Once a week we have a sport subject, which required us to come at noon after school time. I would not go home then since my house was quite far from school, so instead I would stay at Johny’s house or Yendra’s house for lunch and break before noon. We would wear training suit and were asked do some warm up and stretching before the lessons or games started. Every now and then we also had a swimming lesson and we would go to “Batang Tabit” it’s a public swimming pool but also used by schools for swimming lessons.

I joined the student exchange program AFS (American Field Service), the test consisted of English test (grammar and essay), discussions and interview. I failed in the first test and I was quite sure, I had bad mark on essay. I was very weak on essay, the title that I picked was “ If I were elected an AFS student” there were only two students out of about 50 participating students who passed to the next tests and finally there was only one student from my school who was elected an AFS student out of five from west Sumatra province and he was sent to New Zealand for one year program. Even though I failed but at least that gave me experience.

The final examinations were coming, I decided to rent a room in order not to be late and could focus on studying the lessons. I rented the house right in front of the school and which the owner happened to be Dewi’s parents, you know the girl that I liked from the first sight on the first day I entered the high school.

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School Holiday (XVI)

One year had passed and we had a long school holiday. My friend Iyan and I went to Jakarta for holiday. oh…God I missed Jakarta so much it had been like three years since I left Jakarta, I was just too excited to go back there even only for a holiday. We took a bus from Payakumbuh to Jakarta, it was a two night and one day of trip, well it was a bit tiring sitting on the bus reclining seat for about 18 hours, we had some transits in a few places along the journey, also luckily I got some acquaintances and one of them was a female at my age.

We arrived in Jakarta in the morning. Iyan was staying at his father’s house and I was staying at my uncle Risjar’s house in Rawamangun. I visited my old friends’ houses and my neighbors’ houses while I was still living in Jakarta. Also I didn’t forget to pay a visit to my late dad’s grave. So glad that we finally could meet again, they were really like families to me. I really enjoyed my time back then, playing with my smart and naughty cousins, meeting my other relatives was something I could not have it every time I wanted. I also managed to have one day trip to Cibodas , Bandung and Tangkuban Perahu. The school holiday was over I returned to Payakumbuh

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High School (XV)

I had not too bad mark on my NEM at junior high school, there were two high schools nearby my village, but I insisted my self to go to the most favorite high school SMA 3 Payakumbuh (formerly SMPP) in Bukit Sitabur Payakumbuh and accepted there. Besides my cousin Bahagia Rasyad and my friend Admiral also went to that school

The distance from the school to my village was quite far it takes about an hour by bus or motorbike, I decided to rent a room not so far from the school, and went back home every week. There I learned to be able to live by my self, learned to cook, etc. the house were I lived was very quiet and not too much light on surroundings, I thought that’s how I got insomnia from

The first day I went to school we had to join the “ospek” or school orientation, sure it was very exciting as I met new friends coming from various regions and villages. It was a bit tiring but it’s really fun though, you know we as juniors had to do anything the seniors asked us to do, from wearing weird uniforms to doing weird things, normally the seniors would take sort of a revenge to their juniors, they would do as their seniors previously had done to them when they were juniors, but I just tried to enjoy the process though.

I saw a girl, she was cute, little, white and had a long hair, my heart wouldn’t stop beating every time I saw her oh God without a long thought I had just decided that I liked that girl. Later I found out that her name is Dewi Giatri. But I could only admire her from a distance, I was too afraid to openly say that I like her, I just kept that feeling for my self, and no body knew about it. She was just too far for me and I realized that it’s like wanting something that ‘s almost impossible for me to get. She came from kind of rich family. Her father was a head of legislative (region house of representative) of the region. And I knew that she was also star of the school

About twice a week from 7PM to 9PM I devoted my time to sort of being a teacher assistant to MR. Rum Bardi nad Mr. Datuk in an English course called London English School (LES), it’s the course that I also attended for about a year when I was in junior high school. One funny thing was I had a student at the course who also happened to be my religion teacher at my school, for sure I got a good mark on that subject

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Memorable Days (XIV)

The actual reason why I didn’t go to Rumbai and lived in Manganti instead was because I had a feeling with/ crush on a girl named Eliza. I would say that was my first “relationship” with an apposite sex. Days were always full of flowers and excitements. Eliza was my classmate, she lived in Jopang it’s like 3 km away from my house. So we would go home together every time we come back from school and I could still remember her shy face when we were walking home together in the rain under one umbrella. Besides me there’s actually one boy that also liked her, but I forgot his name if I am not mistaken his name is Iwan, we had a fight to get the girl’s heart. I don’t remember how many love letters that I sent and received from her but quite a few, and would be smiling every time I read them.

The junior school scouts held a camping right on the hill of my village, every one of us would raise a tent and made ditch around the tent to protect from the water stream if there’s a rain. It’s just so fun that we could be around with friends and at night we would circle the campfire and sing some songs.
In the daytime we would do some extra activities like hiking, cooking etc. there was also a so called mobile photographer that we take pictures of us and we could get them later, I also had a chance to be taken picture with my girlfriend at that timeJ

I got some closed friends Iwan, Iyan, Erry, Ferry, Iye, Peli etc. on Saturday night we would stay at someone’s house and did some cooking, the grazy part was the fish cooked was stolen from people’s fish pond or our parents’ fish pond. And we did the same thing on other seasons like Durian season, we were once caught up and brought to the village head for getting adviceL On Sunday my friends and I sometimes went to fishing, there’s a river along our villages it’s called Sinamar, or we would usually go up hill and across the hill to Simun and get some fish to cook.
About 10 km there’s Burai waterfalls which is quite famous, it’s crowded by many people especially over the weekends

On my third year of my junior school I lived with my uncle Arisman’s house, the house was quite big with four rooms. I shared the room with my cousin Adi, he’s just one year older than me. We were both quite close only sometimes we had some arguments over small things, but over all we’re okay. My uncle had a scooter that sometimes I used it for going to school or going to my mom’s house in Manganti or my dad’s house in Maur
I was not very bright at school, the subjects that I liked the most were English, sport and history, and didn’t really like other subjects especially the exact and science, not sure I was a bit weak on those subjects, probably because I fothen missed the class. But I always kept my rank to top ten though and the best I had ever been was the third rank. Before the graduation we all went to picnic to Bukit Tinggi, we walked quite a far distance from Bukit tinggi to Danau Singkarak, raised tents there and had fun.

to be continued...

A New Life (XIII)

We arrived in Payakumbuh in the dawn time, and from the terminal we had to rent two cars one for us and the other one for our luggage. It’s just very different living in a big city like Jakarta and living in a small village in Manganti. The air was so clean, no pollution, no traffic jam. The scenery was very beautiful.

It’s just very exciting to be living there, every one seemed so friendly to us and we felt so welcome in everywhere we go. Our house is half rumah panggung, it’s a traditional house but ours was already renovated a bit so it’s not like a real Rumah Gadang with the gonjongs. Where else sometimes I also lived at my dad’s village at my grandpa’s house

I was planning to continue my study in Rumbai Pekan Baru and would live at my aunt Danny’s house. But it would take some time to process and while waiting for the process to finish, I was placed at SMP Mungka at the village to join the class while waiting so I wouldn’t miss the lessons much. But then the plan had changed, I felt like studying at the village so then I was formally registered as the new student there

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Good Bye Jakarta (XII)

Our family had to make a hard decision on whether we would keep living in Jakarta or go back to village. Our lives had been so tough since dad passed away. My mom didn’t work she’s only a housewife, yes there was some business that that we could run, but still it wasn’t enough, luckily we had a lot of relatives here in Jakarta, so much or less our lives had been supported by them.
Eventually the family decided that we would leave Jakarta and go back to village, I had been to village once with my dad when I was still a kid and didn’t remember much as probably it’s only a short time period. Surely a lot of discussions and considerations must have been taken, and sure the family was very concerned with the continuity of our education and future.

It was my very last night in Jakarta and was sad that I would leave my friends and neighbors. We were packing our things, we didn’t bring much luggage as some of the furniture and household appliances we had were sold with cheap prices and some were left or given away to our neighbors and relatives. I had a new wristwatch given by uncle Cun, that night he was at my house helping us pack the things. I went to my friends’ houses to say goodbye, but there was one tragedy that happened that night before my leaving. I was going to get the break-dance book which was borrowed by my friend Ricky, he’s batakness or amboness I forgot and actually I just knew this fellow. I needed the book coz the next day I would be leaving, but he would not want to give the book to me, and he slapped me even at his house in front of his family. I wanted to fight back but he was surely not my comparison, he was much older than me probably he’s about twenty years old or more and I was only fourteen, he was also much bigger and taller that me. I was so hurt to what he had done to me, I was sob and went home. Seeing my sob uncle Cun hurried me a question if something had happened to me” somebody stole your watch??” he asked me, I told what just happened to uncle Cun, he was so angry to have heard the story, you know my house was full that night with my friends who were helping us pact the goods. So Uncle Cun asked my friends to go to Ricky’s house, so we went there, uncle Cun got used to living in a tough environment and had a lot of friends too and also was short of high tempered person, he wouldn’t accept his nephew to be hurt that way and would do anything to take a revenge. So were my friends who most of them were betawiness and they were all so angry with Ricky who slapped me on my very last day. We arrived at his house, it’s not far from my house it only took about ten or fifteen minutes from my house, we knocked the door and some body opened the door and Ricky approached us to the door, not much word from my friend, suddenly Marsudi punched him very hard right on his face, and the others including his family tried to separate them, calmed us down, Ricky with his family seemed so afraid coz a lot of people at his house, and uncle Cun asked and said to them why on earth Ricky slapped me and asked them to apologize to me or a war would start, uncle Cun added and threatened. Knowing that they were a in deep shit and trouble also too many people outside ready with their war tools and stones at their hands like they’re very ready for war and throw the stones if things didn’t work out well and the anger showed on uncle Cun’s face and my other friends’ faces. They finally apologized to me and to all of us. Thanked god it ended well, and we all went back home with heroic feeling, I was so glad that they were all so concerned with me. Big thanks to my friends and uclce Cun. So long and good-bye lovely town Jakarta!


The next day we were ready to leave, after saying good-bye to all the neighbors and friends, we then headed for Pulogadung Bus terminal. We the family took a bus from Jakarta to Payakumbuh, because it’s much cheaper I guess coz it’s a group of five people, Mom, Uncle Ije, my younger sister Ade, my youngest brother Iyan and me. So long and good-bye lovely town Jakarta!

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Teenager (XI)

It was new school, new environment and new friends. My friend Iwan and I were accepted at SMP 44 at Cipinang Kebembem, East Jakarta. I went to school by bike sometimes I used public transport. The distance between my house and my school is about 10-15 KM. We were so proud of wearing the uniform for the first time. “My gosh I am a Junior high school student and no longer a kid now” I proudly exclaimed!

I went to Lucky’s house on Sunday, he lived there with his mom, he was the only child, and his dad was working in a ship so his father was rarely at home. We often spent our time with other friends playing basketball, or just hanging around at some place. I remember that time we had so called a biker gang, its name was LAKNAT it’s signed by a red color. We all bikers often go with our unique bikes. All the bikes had to be painted red and modified. Wherever we go we always brought a red “pilox” it’s a paint spray and we proudly sprayed our gang’s name LAKNAT on any object and mostly found at bus stops, signboards, street walls, etc. we knew it’s not a good thing doing those things but as teenagers we were so notorious and rebellious, the more people said “no” to us the more challenge we had and the more we wanted to do it. I would say as a teenager I was really naughty. On Saturday night we would go to Monas or the national monument where many boys and some girls would gather there and did some attractions and demonstrations with their BMX. I would do standing with my BMX and some other demonstrations. On the way back home we would pass cempaka putih street where at night there would be “Banci jalanan” or street faggots, and started teasing and pissing them off until they threw away stones towards us, and we would run away very fast with our bikes trying to avoid the thrown stones and their anger.

My mom was called to school to collect the report book, I had three red marks on my report and I had a mark 4 on mathematics. My teacher told mom why I got mark 4 on mathematics, besides I often skipped the class I was so disobedient to the teacher. Mom ended up crying and advised me to behave at school

It was in 1984 back then, and people especially teenagers were having a break-dance fever, me too with no exception, I was very fond of break-dance. One Saturday night we went to see a break-dance festival at Instora senayan, it was so great, the music and the break-dancers were fabulous. We came back home very late by taxi that night. I bought a book about break-dance and tried to learn some steps and styles from the book with my friends. I mastered some styles such as donkey, head spins, freeze, etc. I forgot the names of other styles. I felt that my body was so flexible.

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Monkey Love (X)

I had a very close friend, his name is Dharmawansyah , I called him Iwan. His parents were also from West Sumatra. I was so close to him that I spent so much time with him. We were like brothers where ever he was I was there too. We used to spend time learning the guitar and flute together and we had a very similar signature with a very slight difference as both signatures were created at the same time. His mommy was the teacher at our school, but she didn’t teach us, his daddy was an entrepreneur. We used to go to the National Monument on Sunday to join the rollerblade class, he joined the club I didn’t but I always accompanied him for exercise, he was very good at playing the skate, I could but not very good at it but I was good at playing skateboard. He was in my age but he was so tall and big for his age. Iwan’s dad got a tumor on his neck until the death came to him. His dad was also buried not too far from my dad’s grave. At school we sat together, we were once suspended from school because we skipped the class and caught in singing and playing in the class.

I don’t know may be it’s just too quick to be interested in the opposite sex, I was in my 5th or 6th year of elementary school. She was my classmate her name is Nowiawati or we called her Novi. I really got crushed on her, but I was too afraid to tell her. She knew that I liked her so much and my friends used to tease her and me. Even though we never really got a “relationship” since we were too young for that but it was so sweet to remember those moments, every time we went back home then we kind of promised each other to go back home “together” I usually waited for her so we could go back together. From our school we walked together but from different side, she walked on the left side of the riverbank and I was on the right side, the point is we walked together and we could still see each other and got separated coz she had to turn left and I had to turn right.

I would miss her at home and sometimes I was imagining living with her as a couple, c’mon…..I was too young to imagine that…….we had some extracurricular after school such as swimming, math class, etc. She always made me excited to be involved in those extra activities, if she didn’t show up then there would be something missing. One day we had a swimming class at Bujana Tirta Rawamangun and I was kinda showing off leaping from a three meter height board, it didn’t do well that the lifeguard had to give me a help, I was so embarrassed that time but I never regretted it though, at least it showed that I had guts to do it. In class we would exchange little notes me and Novi and my close friend Iwan with Entin (Supriatin) she was just so special to me, she used to love the song ”manuk dadali” it’s the region song from West Java, our teacher ever asked us to stand in front of class and sing a song, she picked that song, and I had loved that song ever since. After all it’s only a monkey love, I am sure most people ever experienced this kind of feeling. I don’t have a clue why it’s called a monkey love and why not elephant or gorilla love???

It was a graduation day, we were so overwhelmed, and cheerfulness and sadness were blended as one. Except for those who didn’t pass, I didn’t remember how many of us who failed, might be none. We signed our name on each other’s shirt. Me too. My shirt was so full of signatures, markers everywhere and so colorful as though there’s no space left. I had Novi’s signature on my inside collar, and there’s only one name there, it’s hers.

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Delapan Bayangan (IX)

I joined the kung fu ”Delapan Bayangan” or “eight shadows” every Monday we went to practice. There were about five of us and I was one of the youngest among them, Bang Nelson was the most senior person and was also one of the “Shin She” or coach. We left home at about 6:30 PM and we took a bus from Rawamangun to Senen. The practice place was on the parking area on the top roof of the building. There were about four “shin she” My favorite was Suhandi. He was a Chiness Indonesian, and he was tall and sturdy. We would do some warm-up before we started the practice. The part that I loved so much was the fight. Where two people would do the fight with some kicks and punches. Usually after practicing we would lubricate our arms and legs with some traditional chiness oil for releasing some stress after practicing.

I loved martial arts so much and learnt some steps or moves. Prior to joining “Delapan Bayangan” I joined in the Betawi traditional Pencak Silat or Martial Arts. I also learnt how to use double stick and “toya” anything to do with this activity always interested me. I was very much inspired by kung fu movies. My idol was Bruce Lee, I watched almost every movies of his. I even made my own painting with crayon of Bruce Lee and stick it on my room wall and was so proud of it. No wonder I was often involved in some fights at school, as my friends would count on me for any fighting

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Circumcision (VIII)

I was so nervous, coz I had heard stories from my friends that it hurt. My neighbor Haeru and I were going to have circumcision. It’s a must for all Muslim to have it. Boys usually have it in their teenage and girls have it in their infant age. The story began when First man (Prophet Adam) met with Hawa and got ordered by GOD the Almighty to have children from his wife Hawa, but before Prophet Adam could “touch” Hawa, God gave an order that Prophet Adam should have circumcision first. It then became an obligation for all Muslim men to be circumcised, even for non Muslims who want to convert to Muslim they have to do two things, firstly they have to say “duakalimathsyahadath” (Ashaduallah Illahaillallah Wa Ashaduanna Muhammadarasulullah)” and secondly they have to have circumcision. It has also been scientifically tested that being circumcised will make men clean and be avoided from all diseases.

We had a small celebration at home after having circumcision, I had my penis bandaged, I was lying down on bed, and it did hurt. My relatives and my neighbors would come to house and slipped me some money. I was so happy and excited because I knew I would get much money from those who visited me. Some times I was also so shy when my friends came to visit me because my friends would force me to show my bandaged circumcised penis to other female friends if I wanted to get it cured faster. I really had no idea whether it ‘s true or not. I had to take some pain killer to reduce the pain. I also had to take a rest for a few days, I didn’t go to school because it was a long holiday back then. I was going to be in my fourth grade in next school season.

Generally in a week it will be fully cured, but it took me for about a month until it was fully cured. Why did it take so long? Naughty me couldn’t bear being at home and doing nothing, on my third day I already wore my shorts and pants, not only that but I already played football with my friends. I should have stayed at home and wore sarong. I was bleeding because my penis was not fully cured yet, and at night my mom would take me to the clinic, told the doctor what I did, then the doctor would shake his head and give me advice to just take a rest and stay at home. But the next day I would ignore the doctor’s advice and played football again, until one time I was taken to the clinic again and apparently it got infected. I was crying and holding the pain while the doctor had to detach the old bandage and disseminated by powder and rolled up with the new bandage.

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An Orphaned Kid (VII)

The sorrow was not over yet, for a few days my neighbors had always come to my house to pray ”tahlilan” for three days in a row and did it again on the 7th and 40th day. We served foods and drinks for the guests, it’s not obligatory but it’s the tradition that had been going on for years. After that they would bring home “besek” meal box when finished. Some Muslim groups/sects such as “Muhamadiyah” don’t recommend this as doing this will make a burden to those who are left by the dead, yet there are also some other Muslim groups who believe this will give blessings to the dead.

It did take time for us to get over it. Every now and then we went to dad’s grave. My aunt Yulia arrived in Jakarta with her husband whose relationship was once not in my dad’s favor. We went to dad’s grave and she was crying over the grave. Aunt Yulia hadn’t met my dad since her leaving and now my dad’s gone. And on the way back home I still expected to meet my dad as though he was still alive, little me still didn’t believe the fact that my dad had been gone forever. Poor me…poor mom…. she was just 33 when dad died and she really had to struggle so hard to feed and bring up the kids.

Many people say that a fatherless kid is commonly naughty, was I?? Indeed I was. Is it always like that? I don’t think so, it all depends on how the mom educates the kid. But fatherless or motherless kid does tend to be naughty though because the kid will lack of control and affection. I broke my arm once when I was playing with my friends that they would take me home. I guessed my mom was getting used to coping with my naughtiness. But not rare also that many people would take sympathy to me as a fatherless kid “Anak Yatim” they believed it would bring them good luck to take a good care of orphaned kids.

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The Burial Ritual (VI)

All the neighbors, families and relatives made a visit of condolence to the late father. We were all in a very deep sorrow and still couldn’t believe with what we’re experiencing that dad was gone forever, that he was no longer with us. The burial was planned at noontime. But we’re waiting for other very important families from Payakumbuh first to come, hopefully they would arrive before the burial.

The tent was raised in front of my house, the people seemed to prepare all the needs for burial, the board for which my dad’s name was written on, the equipments to be used for bathing my dad and “kain kafan” the white material cloth, cotton for covering my dad’s dead body were being prepared. Not long after that, my dad was bathed. I also participated to bathe my dad’s dead body. I would never forget that sob moment. Bathing the dead body before burial is a must in Muslim, except we die in a war as a “sahid” then it’s not obligatory to bath the dead.

The screaming was heard so loudly, my grand mother Sailana, my grand father Buya, my elder brother Epi, my dad’s older brother “pa’dang” uncle Arisman and my dad’s elder sister “ma’dang” aunt Rahmadani were stepping in the house, they flew directly from Padang by the earliest flight. .A few people seemed to hold my grand mother and walked her in. she just couldn’t be quiet, she was struggling and screaming very hard. Seeing that moment would maker everyone cry in tears, me too I was so sad and still couldn’t stop crying

People still came and went from my house to pay their condolences. Also my friends and teachers from school came to my house. I really couldn’t hide my sadness that clearly showed from my face, they also looked sad and tried to give sympathy to me. My teachers approached and hugged me and tried to cheer me up and gave their affection. I even couldn’t say a word to my friends and teachers but cried. In a minute my late dad would be taken to the mosque, which was located right in front of my house, but before that all members of the families were given a very last chance to see my late dad’s face and kiss him on his cheek or forehead. We could clearly see the smiling was radiating from my late dad’s face, which tells he was gone peacefully. My mom came forward to kiss my late dad, my uncles, aunts, me and the others. My grand mother Sailana (Ana) was the last person who kissed my dad as she never stopped crying that she wouldn’t be allowed to kiss with tears on her eyes. We believe that one must not kiss the dead with tears in one’s eyes because it’s not good for the dead. My late father was claimed the most beloved son of his mother.

After my late dad’s body was covered by “kain kafan then the body was taken to the mosque to be prayed. My grand father H. Djamarun Rasyad (Buya) led the prayer. All of the families and neighbors took the pray. After the pray the body was taken by the ambulance. I could see a very long convoy of cars accompanying the ambulance to the public graveyard in Sodong Jl. Layur East Jakarta. We arrived there at about 3 PM, my late dad’s body was ready to be put in the grave hole. There were several rituals to follow before the body was buried. There were also some prayers and speeches along the process. The body was buried, the soil was piled up in several heaps. Each of the family had their turn to sow the jasmine flowers on the grave soil. The ritual was finished, one by one we left the grave and left our late beloved father alone. “REST IN PEACE MY DAD AND MAY GOD PROTECT YOU AND PLACE YOU IN THE BEST PLACE ON HIS SIDE AND GO TO HEAVEN, BYE MY DAD”

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The Saddest and Hardest Moments (V)

I was ten years old and on my third year, my dad got sick. It was diagnosed as heart attack and it was a hereditary sickness. I was picked up from school by uncle Cun, and went straight to Ciptomangun Kusumo hospital where my father was hospitalized. I met with my dad there; he was given an infusion from one of his arms. My father greeted me and smiled at me, I also met with my mom there, and she had always been taking care of my father. I could see that my mom was very shocked, but she had always been very patient and strong.

I couldn’t remember how many days my dad was hospitalized and finally was back home. We were so happy that my dad was back home. But being at home didn’t mean he was fully cured and healthy. He was still sick and had never gone to work since. Dad’s legs were swollen, maybe it’s the side effect of his sickness.
Dad became closer to god he never skipped his prayers. He sat to pray coz he wasn’t strong enough to stand, he was too weak and couldn’t do sport any longer. Dad used to play badminton.

That was not going on for long my dad had to be hospitalized again but this time at Islam Hospital at Cempaka Putih. The days were so hard besides it was so costly my mom also had to take care of her three children my younger sister Ade, the youngest son Iyan and my self, as the other two children were in the village Payakumbuh west sumtara, my elder brother Epi was taken care of by my dad’s mom in Maur where else my younger brother Iwang was taken care of by my mom’s mother in Manganti.

My mom had to go back to hospital everyday, it took about 30 minutes from my house, while she was not at home, my maid took care of us and the house, thank god we had a very trustable maid, we called her ”Bibi” and she was like family to us. Mom wouldn’t worry with the kids since the house was always full of people. Dad was visited by our families and relative in Jakarta, as we are the big family, and also by his friends. I didn’t go to hospital every day but quite often.

My dad should have got a heart operation, but it’s not that easy to get a heart operation at that time since there were not many hospitals which had enough facilities and specialists as it is now yet. And we had to queue or register the patient’s name to the hospital first and wait for a few weeks or months to get our turn. Even we had to kind of lobby the nominated doctor in order to get our name registered or on the list. I didn’t remember the doctor’s name that was supposed to lead the operation but my uncle told me that he had met the doctor and tried his best so my dad could be prioritized even though my dad had never really had the chance after all.

At midnight I was waken by my mom’s screaming and crying. It’s about 2 AM in the morning on Monday 8 August 1981 I was about ten years old. I was trying to guess what’s happening. I was so afraid and worried that my guess would be right, I really hoped I was wrong. Mom kept crying and I also heard mom screaming so loud saying ” Don’t leave us, how am I gonna live without you with the kids. I got up of the bed and saw my mom struggling, creaming and crying so loudly. I was like passing out, I know I was still a kid but I couldn’t stop crying, I saw my dad’s dead body was lying stiff in the living room, my late father must have been taken home by the ambulance I guess “INNALILAHI WAINAILLAIHI ROJIUN” our beloved dad had passed away. He was only 37 years old when he died.

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Rawamangun (IV)

We moved from Bukit Duri to Rawamangun in 1977. That year was also my first year at Elementary school. We lived in Betawi surrounding area, even tough my parents are from west Sumatra but I grew up in Jakarta, so I feel more like Betawiness than Padangness. The house we used to live was rented from pak Jaka, he’s the owner of the house. Like usual our house was always full of people from Sumatra coming to Jakarta and also it’s the place where people from my neighbors liked to hang out and gather. I don’t know why they liked to gather at my house maybe it’s because they loved my mother’s cook. My mom is really a good cook though. There also lived my aunt Yulia, my dad’s little sister whom my dad loved so much, she went to university at IKIP Rawamangun and given much privileges. But then her relationship with my dad was disturbed by her disagreed relationship with her boy friend uncle Iye who later became her husband. Uncle Iye is the step son of my mother’s father’s wife. We didn’t know why my dad never agreed to her relationship with her boy friend back then. Until my aunt Yulia left the house and eventually married with uncle Iye. My dad used to love her so much then hated her so much till he died

Besides working my father always had some business, he had a home industry for home made bags to be marketed to stores. He also had another venture of “Ayam Potong” chicken livestock

Like usual I rarely met my father, but I still remember he was a very strict person, most of my relatives were just too afraid of him. Even one of my relatives I called him “ Palo” used to hide if he wanted to smoke, he wasn’t working yet, my father wouldn’t allow any member of my relatives staying at my house to smoke unless he already had a job. As he also wouldn’t stop helping find jobs for them and teaching them what life is. He would have no doubt to punish whoever did a mistake. I was once punished and locked in the bathroom for stealing coin and lying. I was beaten on my butt with “sapu lidi” and I used to say to my dad” it’s not hurtful, it’s not hurtful” repeatedly until I say” it’s hurtful, it’s a hurtful” and asked for forgiveness. Even tough he was very hard to his kids but still he was a very loving father. My mom would only be quiet if my father got angry and was also too afraid to disagree or to stop my father from giving punishment to his kids or any member staying at my house. But he was very respected and adored by many people of his uncompromised generosity and disciplinary.

One morning I was complaining to my dad and mom about why my school was never finished, I was probably in my second year of elementary school. They were just smiling to hear that coming from my mouth. And were telling that to my uncles and aunts whenever they were gathered. Normally after my dad got back from work or during dinnertime, they were usually exchanging stories and remembering the good old days when they were still young. I didn’t remember all the talks but I still remembered some of the topics they were talking about. They were mostly speaking in padangness dialect and I could understand some words but couldn’t speak it. One night my dad was telling story when he was in high school, and the distance was very far from his school to his house and had to walk for a few hours or ride a bicycle to reach the school from his house. Sometimes I could hear them laughing, they must have been telling jokes.

Someone knocked my door house at night it was my far uncle Ramzil from Malimping Cikotok who came to visit us, uncle Ramzil was married to my father’s cousin who also happened to be my dad’s closed friend. And my other uncles like uncle Cieh, uncle Ciin would come to visit and had small reunion. They were playing “domino” or “ceki”card, not sure until what time, I was already on bed and they were still playing.

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Fasting Month (III)

Every year for a month all Muslim in the world do the fasting. We don’t eat nor drink from “imsak” dawn till “magrib” dusk. It’s one of the five obligations as Muslim. Somehow kids are not obligated to fast not until they are “balik” teenager. My father, my mother and my other relatives never stopped giving us courage to learn to fast, even only half day or to the maximum time I could bear. They even motivated me by giving sort of bonuses if I could fast the whole day from dawn to dusk, the more number of days I fast during the fasting month the higher bonus I would surely get, and the highest bonus if I could fast for the whole month. That had been going on for a few years. I don’t know if it’s the right way how parents motivated their children, but that what my parents taught me and it worked for me and to my other brothers and sister.

The noon was always the toughest and hardest times for me, there are many ways people normally do to kill the time before breaking the fast. Watching TV, playing with friends, playing chess, playing cards, playing billiard, doing some sport and soon, but doing sport is a little bit too hard I think as we are probably too tired and don’t have enough energy. Again I was still a little kid back then. I was always excited and motivated to do the fasting, especially days before the “Aidil Fitri” or “Lebaran”. I think most kids are so excited to that moment as they will be wearing new clothes their parents bought for them. so was I, my parents would buy some new clothes for us to wear. Even though it’s not a must but I believe it has already become a tradition for most people in Indonesia and some parts of the world. The “Ramadhan” echo is always there, the sound of “adzan” and reading of “Quran” we can find everywhere. The biggest joy ness is the time when we break the fast, most families will gather to break the fast either at their houses or restaurants. Yet there are countless poor people living on the street, they can’t get decent foods or clothes like we do, and have to struggle for their lives to survive.

After ”isya” evening prayer we all will go to mosque to do “taraweh” prayer, my house was next to the mosque, but I rarely went to mosque at that time as I was still too small, but I could see people hurried to mosque since they always passed over my house. One thing also that needs to be considered is never wear expensive sandals because very often we lose our sandals or changed by other sandals. I would say that’s probably one negative thing, which should never happen. But the fact is, it happens almost everywhere. Surely this cannot be reason for us to stop going to mosque after all. After the “taraweh” was finished they would buy snack and food, “asinan” was always the favorite cooking or food, it’s mix of fruits and vegetables and is one of betawi’s traditional cuisine that’s really worth tasting. I used to like it so much though

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